It’s The Thought That Counts Means What Exactly?
I’ve heard the phrase “it’s the thought that counts” in regards to gift giving for so many years, you might think I actually buy into what that rather famous quote means. But I’m not sure I really believe that it’s the thought that counts rather than the price tag and quantity of gifts given at Christmastime or Birthdays or any other special occasion or holiday.
Call me Scrooge, but Christmas this year is going to be unlike previous Christmases because Grandpa and I have had it up to here with ungrateful, unappreciative, selfish-minded people who seem to think we have SANTA stamped on our foreheads.
Maybe there was a time, many years ago, when buying a gift for someone was based solely on well thought out searches for a gift based on what the person likes and enjoys without much thought about the price tag. That is the kind of Christmas shopping I always enjoyed, putting a lot of thought into whatever gift I chose for someone on our gift list, but just the mere thought of buying Christmas presents this year makes me wonder What the hell for?
If what matters most is the thought process that goes into choosing, buying, wrapping and giving a gift from the heart, then certain people on our annual gift list who shall remain nameless didn’t get the memo. Our usual list of around 20 people or so to buy Christmas gifts for has been reduced to a fraction of that, perhaps to the total count of just 4. Young grandchildren only, with no adults receiving Christmas gifts anymore.
Every Christmas holiday for the last few years has ended up with at least one person asking “Is this all that (insert name) gets?” That indicates that someone is counting the number of gifts received and if that number is not reached, then we haven’t lived up to the expected and anticipated responsibility as generous gift givers. Again, where does it say Santa on my forehead or on Grandpa’s forehead?
Being the primary person who buys or orders gifts during the holiday season, I’ve always put a lot of thought into the gifts purchased for each and every person on our gift list. We don’t own a money tree and we have our own bills, debts and expenses to pay off, and it has become obvious that the supposed “thought” of gift giving (at least for some) really means we’re expected to give generously regardless of our own financial situation.
Of those we used to buy gifts for at Christmas, most of them were very understanding when we let them know that we would not be buying Christmas gifts for adults anymore, but would stick to buying for the grand kids. Others were not so understanding, which as you may have guessed, are for the most part the very ones who have had the audacity to ask “Is this all that so-and-so gets?”
We’re supposed to concern ourselves with their feelings and Christmas wish lists during the holiday season or when Birthdays come around etc. The only two people who know our financial situation are the two people who should and need to know – Grandpa and I. We live in a nice house. So what. We drive nice cars. So what. We worked our butts off for what we have and anyone that allows the thought to cross their minds that we someone “owe” them a certain number of gifts – whether the gifts are inexpensive, cheap as hell, expensive or extravagant gifts just because we’re related in some way needs to take a step back and analyze their attitudes towards us.
We worked our butts off for what we have. We earned what we have from years and years of hard work at our jobs, buying things for ourselves that we wanted and needed with our own money as we could afford. The longer you work at your jobs, the sooner you will discover you can also begin to buy things you want or need because you’re able to afford it. Just because we can afford certain things doesn’t mean you are entitled to receiving a particular number of gifts from us or gifts that cost a certain amount of money, whether it be at Christmastime or any other holiday or special occasion.
We understand money is tight for many people, regardless of the recession or economic situation we’re in right now, and we don’t expect expensive gifts or a certain number of presents from our family or friends. However. If it’s true, that it’s the thought that counts when making decisions about gifts, than the thought shown towards us over the last few years has been nothing but selfishness and unrealistic expectations. Come to think of it – you know that thing about it’s the thought that counts about giving gifts of some kind? Yeah, that thing works both ways, ya know?
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You tell ‘em Grandma!!
If the thought counted, there wouldn’t be a logn line at the returns departemnt right after Christmas. Good post! I’m a grandma to and like your post and am a new subscriber.
It’s hysterical to me personally that this post got thumbed up big time on StumbleUpon and has received so much social networking attention from peeps who agree with the message and sentiment. Just one more reason why the number (or lack thereof) of comments on a blog post have zip, zero, nada to do with the blogs popularity. Thank you Stumble Upon users! Keep it coming!
Yeah! I was also the one who spent many hours looking for just the perfect gifts for everyone even though time was at a premium. It was only frustrating because two of the people would either say a weak thank you and put away the things I got for them (never to be seen again), or acted like they didn’t get anything nice. That was ok because now I don’t do anything for them. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but ungrateful people are a pain. It takes away from the Christmas spirit.
You got that right Betty! No more of that nonsense around here. As the saying goes, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired” of selfish people who only think about themselves and their own wants.
My conflict in the past few holidays is that we have lost sight of the meaning of Christmsa due to the commercial emphasis that has too many people in a frenzy over the “right” gift(s).
Christmas is based on a beautiful story. Retail is based on the lowly dollar. We have lost the meaning of that gift of spirit in thinking a wrapped gift is the one that makes us happy.
Too often, we equate shopping with proof that we love someone. Or as was mentioned, we spend hours in a crowded store trying to match the perfect gift with someone who may not be wanting that item at all. Expectation on either part can so detract from the message of the season.
I’ve been in both positions – so carefully choosing something I think an in-law might love, only to have them wrinkle their brow upon opening, or worse, comment, “What izzit?” as they toss it aside and is never seen again. I’ve received gifts making me wonder, “Does this person even know me?”
A few years ago, I announced to my children, “You have enough THINGS. Now we will create memories.” From that time on, they can name nearly every holiday we have celebrated by what we DID – not what we bought. From there the holidays took on an unexpected meaning as each season a new experience was created – with their help – and each was memorable, funny, or rewarding.
Give yourself the gift of relaxing during the holiday season, truly seeing the beauty of both the skies and the stars in your loved ones’ eyes, and give them the gift of your joy in creating a special memory.
I love these thoughts Geri. Going back to a time where we all just focused on the “true meaning of Christmas” and did away with all the hype about gifts would be a wonderful thing. Just spending time together and actually enjoying that time of year with low stress and without the financial burden of spending so much money on gifts, and just create wonderful – lasting memories.
Another point I thought of is that the gifts we have given for Christmas or Birthdays over the years has been things that were needed, which was most often clothes. Giving gifts just for the sake of giving them, or as you say trying to prove the person is loved etc, sends the wrong message. We’re both much happier now that we’ve made the decision together to forego gifts for the adults especially since they can, should and need to take care of their own needs and wants. Grandchildren however is another story. They should not only understand the true meaning of Christmas and the religious/Christian background etc, but should be able to enjoy receiving xmas gifts until they’re older.